


What Comes Next

by yarnandtea



Series: Lyrium Song [9]
Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Fenders, Implied Past Non-Con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-10 23:29:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/791420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yarnandtea/pseuds/yarnandtea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris has finally achieved the goal he's been working toward for years. Now what?</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Comes Next

**Author's Note:**

> Tagged this with rape/non-con because there are a few glancing mentions of such in Fenris' past. Nothing explicit, only implied. But I still thought it should be tagged, just in case!

Fenris was hesitant to admit it, but for the first time in his memory, he actually felt like his life was in a good place. It was a...strange feeling. He had spent so long wanting to be truly rid of Danarius, and now he was. But now he was left with a quandary. What was he to do now?

In the wake of Danarius' death, Fenris felt listless. He was, to be sure, content with his life. That in and of itself was strange enough. He had his friends to pass the time with. Hawke, Isabela, Varric, Aveline and Donnic, even Sebastian. All were glad to share a few drinks (or more) toasting in celebration of the magister's end. He continued to work with Hawke and to hunt down slavers. He trained his body and with his weapons. He played cards and persisted in his efforts to learn to read.

He had even made a few attempts at reconnecting with Varania. That too was strange. The pair of them had a hard time finding anything in common other than their blood, and blood was not a topic he wished to discuss with her given her...training. She remembered him as the boy he had been before receiving his lyrium brands, and he had no clear memories of that time. After the ritual, he had not been allowed to see either Varania or their mother, so in fact they had no shared memories at all. Still, it was clear that she seemed willing to try. To have actual family here in Kirkwall was a precious thing to Fenris, even if he could not easily admit it. So he did what he could to help her find work that she did not find demeaning, as well as working to keep her hidden from the templars. Still, visits with his sister were not without their frustrations.

"She insists on calling me Leto," he complained to Anders as they bathed one night.

Anders. Ah. Now, _there_ was another question in Fenris' life. Things between them were very good now, and getting better with each day. But would they remain that way? _Could_ they?

"It is your name, isn't it?"

Anders' reply was flippant enough but there was something in his voice that gave Fenris pause. He bit back the growling retort that had been forming and took a slow breath. It sounded as if Anders was asking something beyond the stated question.

"It was," he said slowly. "But I am not that boy any more. I do not even remember him. _I_ have never been anyone but Fenris."

"Hmm. But why keep the name Danarius gave you? Why not go back to Leto? Or change it to something else, even?"

Fenris craned his neck to glance back at Anders. He searched the mage's face. If he didn't know any better, he would think Anders _amused_. Of course, the man certainly did tend towards the inappropriate where his sense of humor was involved.

"I do not wish to go back to being that boy," Fenris stated after a moment. "To take a new name holds no appeal for me. Danarius made me Fenris, it is true. But in making me, he crafted his own end." A fierce smile spread across his face. "So I believe I will keep this name after all."

Anders nodded. Fenris thought he had been expecting the answer. He blinked, surprised that the mage would have figured out something that Fenris had yet to actually put into words.

"Have you tried telling Varania this?"

"I...have not," Fenris admitted. "If I do, she might realize that her brother is well and truly dead, and then..."

_Then she might leave for good._

He could not voice the thought aloud, but it did not seem that he needed to. Anders was silent for a few moments, rubbing Fenris' back idly with a washcloth.

"She will eventually realize that Leto died in your making," Anders said thoughtfully. "But perhaps by then she will have gotten to know _you_ and she will be able to accept that fact."

Fenris sighed and relaxed back against Anders. He smiled when the other man's arms slid around his waist, pulling him closer in a tight embrace. Anders understood. Vaguely, he recalled overhearing Anders once explaining to Varric that his name was not, in fact, Anders at all. Though he claimed he had forgotten his real name long ago. Fenris wondered if that was true, or if Anders felt that his younger self, like Leto, had died when he taken on the new name. Oh yes, he realized. Anders understood quite well indeed.

They lingered in the bath for a while longer before finally returning to the bedroom. The night was warm enough that they did not bother with smallclothes. Fenris had long since grown used to sleeping naked beside Anders, even if other intimacies took more time to accept. Although...he paused to examine Anders' form in the candlelight, pleasantly surprised at how familiar it was to him. They _had_ been progressing. From kissing to using their hands on one another, to the delicious rutting that he had so recently initiated. Lately it was uncommon for Fenris to look at Anders without feeling some flash of heat or desire or want.

For example, tonight he found himself wondering what it would feel like to take Anders' cock in his mouth. That desire certainly came as a surprise to him. He had not done such a thing in a very long time, and it had been far longer than that since he had actually _wanted_ to do it. Yet his eyes were drawn between Anders' legs and before he realized he had moved, he found himself kneeling on the floor beside the bed, pushing on Anders' thighs so that he could slide between them.

"Fenris?" Anders drew in a sharp breath as he realized what Fenris intended. Fenris glanced up at him and offered what he hoped was a seductive smile. "Are...are you sure?" Anders' eyes were round as he stared down at Fenris. Fenris' grin widened as he felt Anders' pulse speed up beneath his fingertips where they rested on Anders' thighs.

"Very," Fenris answered firmly.

His eyes widened further as Fenris took him in hand, stroking his cock with deft fingers and coaxing him to erection.

"Oh Maker!" Anders sighed and leaned back on the bed, supporting himself on his elbows. He stared down at Fenris, watching him with rapt attention.

Fenris leaned forward and darted his tongue out to the tip of Anders' cock, teasing and tasting at the same time. Anders groaned and Fenris smiled. Then he leaned in again and took Anders' length into his mouth, slowly swallowing him down. Anders' breath caught in his throat.

Once upon a time, Fenris had been called up on to perform this act often. He had taken no real joy in it, always ordered to do so, never choosing a partner for himself. But he had been told he was quite skilled. He was pleased to find that he _was_ enjoying himself now. Anders moaned and squirmed on the bed, clearly trying to hold himself still while Fenris ran his tongue along Anders' shaft, swirling it around the tip, sucking lightly and then pulling back, blowing soft breaths against the sensitive wet skin. Even here in his most private of places, Anders tasted of elfroot, though the taste was overshadowed by the man's own heady musk.

He slid his mouth up and down the length, using his hands to stroke any part of Anders' cock that was not in his mouth, fondling his balls. He reveled in the enjoyment Anders was clearly taking in his attentions. Calling on old memories, things he'd once thought he would never wish to recall, Fenris relaxed his throat and swallowed Anders down to the root. Anders gave a wordless cry and when Fenris' cheeks hollowed out as he sucked hard, Anders cried out again, bucking up into him.

Fenris had not been ready for that.

He scrambled back quickly, coughing violently and spitting out the seed Anders had spurted into his mouth as he came. His eyes watered and he scrubbed at them, more angry at himself than anything else. He should have realized how close Anders was from the sounds he had been making. He should have been expecting that last move to have exactly the effect that it had. Vaguely, he registered Anders clambering off the bed and kneeling beside him, pulling him into his arms.

"Oh, shit, Fenris! Are you alright? I am so sorry. I was trying to hold back but--"

"Pfaugh! Do not trouble yourself," Fenris waved a hand in dismissal, looking away in embarrassment. "The fault was mine. I have not done that in a very long time, I had forgotten..." Anders placed a finger under his chin, urging him to turn, and he glanced up, meeting amber eyes filled with concern. "I am fine," he insisted. "Just embarrassed."

"You've no reason to be," Anders replied with a grin. "Perhaps I might return the favor?"

"I..." Fenris sighed and scrubbed a hand across his face. His ardor had died in the wake of his embarrassment. He suddenly felt exhausted. "Not tonight. In the morning, perhaps? If you are still interested, of course."

"In the morning then," Anders agreed. He stood, pulling Fenris up with him. "You get in bed, hmm? I'll clean up." He pushed Fenris lightly in the direction of the bed and Fenris went without argument, a small smile playing across his face.

Perhaps in the morning he would be ready to try again as well. What was that old adage? Practice makes perfect? Fenris suspected that Anders would be more than agreeable to letting him find out just how true that theory proved.


End file.
